Single White Female seeks Single (race not an issue) Male who will entertain her and clean the bathroom. Also, if this man could read the “Feminist Criticism” chapter of Lois Tyson’s “Critical Theory Today” and summarize it for me, that would be terrific. I need to read Dracula. Also, I want to write a letter to Jaci. I already started it; it promises to be an awesome letter.
I know a lot of people who call February 14 (The Feast of St. Valentine, a bishop and martyr) “Singleness Awareness Day.” Another friend of mine calls it “Feminine Mind Control Day.” Well, I am aware that I am single. No one gave me flowers today-although my mommy did send me a card in the mail. No one gave me gifts-although I have a package from Katie coming in the mail tomorrow. No one spoiled me. But I don’t mind being single.
Marie and I went out for dinner tonight. We went to the Olive Garden, one of my favorite restaurants. The waiter flirted with both of us and it was fun. He correctly guessed how old I am before checking my ID. And he called me honey. It was way more exciting than being hit on by a married man.
But now I’m home. And I’m reading “Feminist Criticism.” I don’t like it. It’s dry. I’d much rather knit while someone else entertains me. After he cleans the bathroom of course…