A dream deferred/destroyed

Langston Hughes once posed the question “What happens to a dream deferred?”

Well, I’ve got the rest of my life to find out the answer to that one. Four years ago, at the end of my freshman year of college, my dream was to become a high school Spanish teacher.

I took Spanish classes. I studied in Bilbao, Spain. I took more Spanish classes.

I teacher-assisted in Spanish.

And then, I met the OPI. First, my recording failed. Then, I didn’t pass. So I couldn’t student teach. Instead, I took the five classes I needed to take to change my English minor into a major. And I’m supposed to student teach in English in the fall.

But I wanted to retake the OPI. I wanted to know if I could pass it. So, last Thursday, I did.

I have neurotically and obsessively checked for my score for the past three days.

Tonight, when I got home, I found out that, once again, I had not passed with a high enough score.

I feel utterly demoralized. I feel like I have wasted so much of my life. I could have majored in English and minored in biology or geography or something.

I’m really not sure what God’s plan is in all of this. I know he has one. I just don’ t know what it is.

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