Stuff My Students Say

  1. “Ms. H, look at N’s toe! It’s so long and fat.”
  2. “Ms. H, you should have a baby so I can take her trick-or-treating and get free candy!”
  3. And then that same kid wrote on the board “Ms. H having a baby=free candy…This is a good idea and makes sense for everyone.”
  4. “Have someone read this for me and then burn it to expunge the demons of bad writing. Make sure a priest is present to exorcise said demons.”
  5. “It is my constitutional right as an American to not title my papers. It says so in Article uhm, let me get back to you on that, but just trust me on that for now.”
  6. “It’s been six days since I saw Paranormal Activity 3 and I haven’t slept alone since then…I’ve been sleeping with my mom.” (This was said by a football player.)
  7. “No, wait, Ms. H, I have really good taste in music. Wait, I’ll show you.”
  8. “Ms. H, it is true that you’ll give me -10 points on my paper because I don’t have my rough draft today? J says you will.”
  9. N: Wait, you’re leaving in five weeks? Why?
    A: Because she doesn’t love all of you.
    E: Notice that he said she doesn’t love “you,” not “us.”
    A: Yes, well clearly, she loves me, but she hates all of you.

They’re great kids and I love them-or at least I love A.
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