That’s Not a Christmas Song

I have declared myself the Christmas Music Police. Live with it. In this capacity, I will declare what is good Christmas music and what is not. So I’ll start by declaring what is bad music. And then I’ll tell you what I like. (Because I’m awesomely nice like that…)

Anyway, I’m back working in the wonderful world of rebind. So today, we were listening to a “Josh Groban (Holiday)” station on Pandora that the lovely H created.

So as we were listening to this station, I started to hear many songs that are not Christmas songs. They are not winter songs in any way, shape, or form. Nevertheless, Pandora believes them to be Christmas songs. So here are ten songs that aren’t Christmas songs, with my commentary (of course) as to why.

  1. Pachelbel’s Canon in D; it’s considered to be vaguely religious, and therefore it MUST be Christmas music. (eyeroll) (I will make an exception for Trans-siberian’s “Christmas Canon” because they at least tried to make it Christmassy.)
  2. “My Favorite Things” from The Sound of Music; “Snowflakes that stay on my nose and eyelashes, silver white winters that melt into spring…” I’m sure you get the picture.
  3. “You Raise Me Up” Just because Josh Groban sings it, that doesn’t mean it’s a Christmas song.
  4. “To Where You Are” See my reasoning behind #3
  5. “Last Christmas” It’s a break-up song that just happens to take place on Christmas. That doesn’t make it a Christmas song. I’m sorry.
  6. “Don’t Give Up (You Are Loved)” See reasoning on #3
  7. Anything by Glee; I know they mean well, but they’re just too much for me. If you like them, fine, but I’m a traditionalist. I like Frank Sinatra, classical music, the first part of The Messiah, and Josh Groban.
  8. Anything that implies that the true meaning of Christmas is getting gifts; even if you’re not into the Christ part of the Christ-Mass, the spirit of Christmas can be seen as the spirit of giving or sharing but it shouldn’t be so focused on getting.
  9. Ave Maria; Honestly, I’m not sure why this one bothers me. While it is a religious piece and it is about the Mother of God, something about its use as a Christmas carol bothers me. The same is true for Jesu, Joy of Man’s Desiring. I don’t know why it bugs me, but it does.
  10. “Linus and Lucy” from any sort of Charlie Brown special. It’s not Christmas specific. It’s just a piece of piano music named after the VanPelt kids.

Now, on the other hand, I do have Christmas music I love. Here are five examples.

  1. “We Three Kings;” I love this song in general but I love this version. That’s partially Hugh Jackman’s fault, but it’s mostly because they sing all the verses and you can see (or at least hear) the point of the song.
  2. Straight No Chaser’s 12 Days of Christmas; it’s sooo sweet and funny.
  3. “Mary, Did You Know?” Michael Crawford’s version is my favorite, but I can’t find a video of it on YouTube.
  4. Trans-Siberian Orchestra’s Christmas Eve/ Sarajevo 12 24: Do we need to discuss this? It’s epic-McAwesome-sauce.
  5. “God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen”…especially Jars of Clay’s version
  6. Also, I love Jars of Clay’s “Little Drummer Boy” but theirs is only version of it that I like.

So that’s what I like. I’d throw things like “O Come, O Come Emmanuel” or “Gaudete” up there, but they’re technically Advent music, which is more seasonally appropriate, but they’re not what I’m ranting about. At the moment.

So what Christmas music do you love? What do you hate? Which ones do you disagree with overly-opinionated me about?

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