At the beginning of Advent, I chose “trust” as my theme for the season. I wanted to spend the forty days prior to Christmas learning to trust God more fully.

Trust isn’t an easy thing for humans. I don’t trust easily-in God or in humanity, and it’s an area in which I always have room for growth. Going into Advent, I chose a quotation from my beloved St. Teresa of Jesus as my focus/theme: Trust God that you are exactly where you are meant to be.

That idea is not easy for me. It is not easy for me to accept that I am where I’m meant to be. There are things in my life that I think ought to change. However, during Advent, those things didn’t change. Instead, I began to learn to change my attitude towards those things. The biggest lesson that I learned during Advent is to ask the Lord to change me instead of asking him to change my circumstances.

Yesterday, I was describing a situation in my life to a friend. She asked me how I was being patient in that situation. How? I’m asking God for grace in that situation and choosing to be patient. My roommate can tell you that it is not always a situation in which I am serene and peaceful. But I’m not in charge. I’m not the Lord of the Universe. My plans are not the best. I am trusting that His plans are bigger and better than mine. Screaming and yelling won’t get me the best. Trusting God will.

So I’m choosing to trust the Lord. As I told my godmother yesterday, I am praying that my life will go in the direction that the Lord wants. I know what I want, but I’m choosing to surrender my own desires to him. Is it easy? No. Is it good? Yes.

As Mr. Beaver told Lucy, he is not a tame lion, but he is the King. I’m choosing to ride the lion and trust in his plans for me. I’m learning to ask him to change me instead of asking him to change my circumstances. His plans are bigger and better than mine. Oh Father, make me good and make me good NOW. Make me what you want me to be.

” For I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.”

-Jeremiah 29:11

Mary said, “Behold, I am the handmaid of the Lord. May it be done to me according to your word.”

Luke 1:38


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