Finding Focus

As I’ve mentioned before, I like to choose a focus for liturgical seasons such as the Fast of Philip (also known as Advent) and Great and Holy Lent. I usually start thinking and praying about a theme a week or two in advance, and if I’m lucky, I’ll stumble upon The Right One the day before the season begins.

This year, I knew that I wanted to work on incorporating Eastern Christian spirituality into my life more and more. To that end, this will be my first Fast of Philip incorporating Fr. Thomas Hopko’s The Winter Pascha into my morning prayer time. The book has forty short meditations-one for each day of the Fast. I purchased an icon of The Root of Jesse to give me a visible reminder of those who have come before me (and before the earthly life of Christ) in faith. (To be fair, I’m working on acquiring icons for all of the major feasts/seasons of the Church. It’s slow going.) All of this prep was done at least two weeks in advance of the impending fast.

But I also knew that I wanted a quotation or a verse from Scripture to pray through during the Fast. I ended up finding two things that really resonated with me.

The first is the chorus from a song that my parish sings on the Sundays of the Fast of Philip:

He shall be born unto us,

And God will be with us.

And we will find him in the cave at Bethlehem.

He shall be born unto us. This (Christmas, the celebration of Christ’s birth) isn’t just something that happened a long time ago. This is something that can happen here and now. If we open our hearts and allow ourselves to be taken to the cave at Bethlehem, God will be born into our hearts, into our lives. That’s an area where I want to grow during this season. I want to grow closer to God, and looking at his humility is a way for me to work on that.

The second quote is from Lady Julian of Norwich, and I think that it nicely continues the theme of the previous quote.

God, of your goodness give me yourself, for you are enough for me.

This is something that I’ve been praying through lately. I’m struggling through the idea that I fixate on “needing” things that I don’t need. I just need Jesus. I don’t need money or success or more yarn or a husband or all of the coffee in the world. I just need Jesus.

Scratch that. I need Jesus and more yarn. Shut up.

Okay, I don’t need more yarn. I want more yarn. All that I need is Jesus. He can meet all of my needs and wants. If it is his will, he will provide the rest. He is enough for me. That’s a fact that I know in my head, and I want to spend this season leading up to Christmas focusing on my only true need being a need for Jesus. My hope is that doing this will help me to grow closer to him and bring him into my heart more fully come Christmas and throughout the rest of my life.

(Dear Jesus, all that I want for Christmas is more yarn, all of the coffee in the world, and for you to be born in my heart. A pony would be nice, but all that I really need is you. Please complete me. And send coffee.)

But really, what do I really need to work on during this season of preparation for the Winter Pascha? I need more Jesus. I need to allow him into my heart and my life in a further and deeper way. I need to allow him to be born not only in the cave of Bethlehem but also in my heart. I need to depend only on him for my sustenance. He will provide all that I need.

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