The All-Avengers Nativity Play

Preface: Even nerdy good Catholic girls need to have fun sometimes. Also, I love The Best Christmas Pageant Ever a bit too much.

Mary: Sharon Carter; she’s Steve’s love interest and therefore an automatic shoe-in for the spouse of St. Joseph-and the Mother of our Lord.  Also, she gives off that good, wholesome girl vibe that is crucial to all Christmas play Marys-except for the Best One Ever.

Joseph: Steve “Captain America” Rogers; he’s the All-American boy. What other role could the all-American boy play? Quarterback, St. Joseph in the church pageant, Rescuer of Kittens in Trees…the All-American Boy does it all.

The Archangel Gabriel: Vision because that makes sense. He is named Vision; he has an Infinity Stone in his forehead. He is perfect. He probably won’t agree to wear feathery wings, but we’ll live as long as he wears the white robe.

Shepherd #1: Cliff “Hawkeye” Barton; he’ll be wearing his own bathrobe and grumbling like the grumpy old soul that he is.

Shepherd #2: Maria Hill; she demands a proper costume. She will NOT wear Clint’s old bathrobe. (Trust me; he offered.) Mercifully, Sharon Carter will find something for her in Peggy Carter’s old things.

Shepherd #4: Thor Odinson; he will love every moment of it-while wearing Clint’s old bathrobe. It will be too short for him, and Steve will tactfully loan him a pair of plaid pajama pants.

The Innkeeper: Natasha “Black Widow” Romanov; she’ll end up with some red in her ledger from this role but that will hopefully lead to a later reformation.

Caspar: Bruce “Hulk” Banner; he’s there for the comfy costume and to support the “Keep Tony Calm” movement. He doesn’t really care about the gold that he’s offering. He does, however, enjoy the chance to borrow Thor’s cape for the role.

Balthasar: James “Rhodey” Rhodes; he comes to both bring myrrh and try to control Tony Stark.

Melchior: Tony “Iron Man” Stark; sure, he’ll complain endlessly about giving “This Kid” incense when that stuff reeks and we should be giving him robots or something, but he’ll also bring a certain level of gravitas to the role.

The Angel Who Warned Joseph in a Dream: Nick Fury-because that’s obvious.

Herod: Loki; he will enjoy all of the villainy. He also enjoys getting to wear a crown. In fact, he puts himself in charge of obtaining crowns to ensure that his crown is bigger and better than anything worn by the Magi. They are puny kings; he is the best king.

Special Notes: The baby Jesus doll is a mint-condition doll from Peggy Carter’s personal collection that Sharon Carter graciously loaned to the production. The doll was from Peggy’s childhood in England, but it was never used as Peggy never had much use for dolls.

We would also like to take a moment to thank Mrs. Laura Barton (wife of Clint) for all of her assistance in providing costuming and to thank Steve Rogers for all of his work in designing and constructing the scenery. Mr. Rogers would like to thank Bucky Barnes for all of his assistance in constructing the set.

We hope you enjoy tonight’s performance, and we look forward to having you join us for cookies and punch in the church hall after tonight’s performance.

Thank you for all of your love and support! Merry Christmas!

Pepper Potts and Wanda Maximova, Co-Directors

(All promotional considerations provided by Stark Industries.)

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