Love Actually is The Holiday

Last night, my roommate and I had a Christmas rom-com double feature. We started out the evening with Love Actually and then moved on to The Holiday. While we were watching the movie, my roommate typed up our reactions to the movie so that we could share them with the blog.

(NB: A good alternate title for this post would be “A Good Catholic Girl watches rom-coms, gets frustrated with modern morality, and swears a lot.”)

Enjoy!

Who the fuck says “I know” to Colin Firth?  Moreover, who says “Get OUT, loser!” to him?!  What the actual fuck.

How many lobsters WERE present at the birth of Jesus?

How do you actually get a job doing [what Jack and Judy do]?  How much do you get paid to do this job?

Natalie swears:  shit, shit, fuck, piss it, fuck, fucking,

How do you hide that many people in your church?  And their instruments!  Unless…do they know all these people?

WHO cheats on Colin Firth with THAT guy?

/who cheats on Colin Firth?!

What do you do when your friend acts like…..  Colin Frissell

what prompts Harry to ask Sarah about her love life, exactly.
WHAT is Harry’s deal?  He cheats on his wife…

What made Colin think that Wisconsin was a fantastic place?

whooo says stuff like that to a married man?  if I was drunk, I MIGHT say that to [this single bloke I know]

what is she wearing?

Who labels their launderette?

Thomas Brodie-Sangster was 13 years old, playing an 11-year-old who looked about 7.  Six?   (“9” according to Cecilia)

“No one’s in love when they’re eleven!  No one!”

What does Harry/Sarah/Karl’s business actually do?

How come we don’t ALL have Prime Minister Hugh Grant around when we go through a breakup?

Does Daniel have nothing better to do with his life than worry about an 11-year-old’s love life?  I mean, come on!

Who cares what language you speak?  He’s Colin Fucking Firth!  Just snuggle!

Who would elect Billy Bob Thornton president of anything?!

(Well, who would elect Hugh Grant prime minister of anything?)

Why is she wearing that suit?  That suit is weird.
I would love to know what his Aunt Mildred looks like.

Why are you a douche-canoe?

Her dress is weird.

Why are you talking?!  Your personal life is not politics.

What is Colin Firth’s sweater?

How is Billy Bob Thornton afraid of antique furniture?  How is anyone afraid of antique furniture?

How do you sit?

You are fucking 11 years old. She is not the love of your life.

Who watches Titanic?

What’s all the garlic for?

How do you treat Emma Thompson like that?

The 270-pound necklace would, in 2015, cost $613.31.

Seriously, how do you treat Emma Thompson like that?

Why were they eating ice cream on Christmas Eve?  Isn’t it a bit cold for that, and also, bad for throats that are about to sing in a nativity play?

Does he think she doesn’t know?

How can you hate Uncle Jaimie?

His whole family just congregated SO fast.

Prime Minister – dancing, providing reassurance after breakups, going door-to-door “caroling” / etc.

“Eight is a lot of legs, David.”

Everyone should steal their lines from Colin Firth.

Can we talk about how many things are wrong with this Christmas pageant?

She already gave them ice cream!  Why do they need treats?

How can Colin Firth find Aurelia’s exact house while the Prime Minister has no idea where to find Natalie?

Do they have Dunkin Donuts in Portugal?

HE IS ELEVEN YEARS OLD.  YOU DO NOT FIND THE LOVE OF YOUR LIFE WHEN YOU’RE ELEVEN YEARS OLD

People talking like house-elves to each other is adorable.

Can I just point out that the PM does not fly into Heathrow and come out a commercial terminal?

~~~~~~~~~

Don’t kiss Jude Law when you want to kiss a cat!

why is this an explanation for irrational urges?  Look at your life, look at your choices!!  Shut the fuck up, if you want to make out with him, then make out with him; don’t sit here and try to rationalize your behavior.

Shut.  up.

Why does his six-year-old have a mobile?

Never promise you won’t fall in love with someone.

HANG UP.

“So he’s a schmuck!”

This is one of the movies that gives me unrealistic expectations about love.

It makes me feel like – love is only for beautiful people in beautiful clothes by beautiful houses in beautiful landscaping.

Don’t have sex just because you want to. NO.

Be honorable.  Be respectable.  Be respectful.

You couldn’t pay me to marry Jude Law’s character in this movie.  Actually, you couldn’t pay me to marry Jude Law ever.

I vote that New Year’s Eve, we drink wine and get takeout.

She’s here for, what, a week?  How do we have any evidence that this relationship will be successful?  They’re getting awfully serious after a date and two shags.

These poor girls are going to end up…

…with a wicked stepmother?

You shouldn’t introduce your daughters to your girlfriend after 2 dates!  You’re sitting there playing happy families…

You are who you are!  Own who you are – name it and own it.

What’s wrong with hot chocolate spilled on your jeans?

VIDEO SHOP.  IT’S BLOCKBUSTER.

“I only used the good notes.”  ❤

Sex and love are not the same thing.  Love is a verb, not a feeling.

To sum up:  The Holiday is suffering through the unlikeliness of a psychotic Cameron Diaz and a horny, impulsive Jude Law for the sake of watching Kate Winslet, Jack Black, and Eli Wallach being heartbroken people who sweetly help support each other.